“The deeper you walk into your purpose, the lonelier it can feel… not because you’re lost, but because you’ve outgrown the need for validation. The exceptional rarely fit the mold… they move through doubt, solitude and vision that can’t yet be explained. Most people seek certainty. Builders seek clarity. They trust what’s unseen, pursue what’s unproven and carry ideas the world won’t understand until much later. The path of originality isn’t about being understood… it’s about being called. ~Matt Gottesman

Talk about a powerful statement. I cannot help but remember my youth when I was in church and I heard people say “God doesn’t call to qualify, he qualifies the call.” I do not know why I keep coming back to that. That perpetual circle in my head has forced me to dissect moments in my life… moments of growth, moments when I needed the much-needed water that faith provided, the much-needed nourishment that friendship provided. I want to start this by saying that I have an incredibly strong relationship with God and that walk is mine, and mine alone. I do not have a church home here in Michigan, but that has not barred me from having a relationship with him none the less.

I moved to the Detroit Metro area in September of 2013. I came from a town where you knew everyone. I was on the city council, chaired the planning commission, served as the council representative to the local business association. To say I kept myself busy is quite the understatement. I do not think I would like a life of down time. Even today, idle time seems wrong. We bought our house in April of 2025. An acre of wooded property with a 4,000 sqf home. My first ever home to purchase. Today, I really do not have the friendship base I did when I first moved to the area. Maybe it is growth? Maybe it is just a case of “they never really were your friend”. I guess I will never know. About two years ago, I said goodbye to them all. Cut ties with all those that were not serving a purpose in my life. Talk about a life changing move.

Walking away from ALL of your circle was an incredibly hard thing to do. People did not call, unless they needed something from me. People did not text unless they wanted me to do something for them. Not one single person asked how we were holding up during the pandemic, yet they hosted outdoor events that we must have been skipped over for when it came to the invitation. I was once told I had a curt mouth. I actually take that as a compliment, especially when you look up the meaning of curt.

curt [kəːt] – adjective

curt (adjective)

1. using or expressed in few words, in a way perceived as rude:“his reply was curt””she gave curt, one-word answers””they received the curt response by email”

I just don’t fluff. You know where you stand with me. I do not mince words, nor do I put on false pretense when it comes to people knowing where they stand in my life. I am far from rude about it, but I am incredibly blunt. Maybe this was why no one was extended the invitation… Maybe they just don’t like me. I guess I will never know. Jon gets the invites and they keep up with him. As far as I am concerned, I couldn’t care less. Forcing a wall like this to guard yourself has always been one of my many defense mechanisms. I am good at it. I am comfortable.

I have battled the ups and downs of not having any real circle of friends or tribe to belong to. I just work. There is a crutch to that outlet… I do not hang with people from work. It is not wise. So, it has always been me just doing my thing. Even when Jon is home, he sleeps or is engulfed in something on his phone or a video game. Me again, just doing my thing. In August, I adopted a six year old Doberman, Bishop. What a blessing on four legs. This guy is my Velcro. Talk about man’s best friend. He is never more than six feet away from me except for when he is taking his constitutionals. Therapy. I love this dog so much. I have never been around this breed much in my life. What an intelligent breed of dogs. They’re smart. High energy. Very talkative. There is just a look that your four-legged companion gives you that just melts your heart, comforts your soul and eases your mind all at once.

Years ago, I stopped caring what people thought about me. My mantra, well, one of my many, many mantras; if you’re lucky enough to hear some of them… or cursed… haha… anyway. A couple that come to mind are “If they’re talking about you, they’re leaving someone else that may not be able to handle it alone.” or “If they are talking about you, you’re occupying space in their head and that means you have done your job…” lol… My life is too busy and too chaotic to worry about the opinions of other people. Now, stick a mirror in front of me and that is a whole different story.

I was on my way to work this morning; it was one of those mornings where spring is just barely showing herself. There is a touch of crispness in the air. You can see the daffodils are up about 6 inches and the sun is beaming through the leafless tree. The few birds that are around are hacking up the winter and those butterball squirrels are playing leapfrog over the leaves and twigs in the driveway. Sort of how I feel in the morning over the pile of laundry that needs to go down from the night before. There is just enough cold dew to make a light fog where you can see the sun beams… it is quite the sight. I thought to myself, your skin looked good this morning, the cloths felt like they fit nicely, the mood is in check, the hair is in place… the grey isn’t quite as sparkly. It’s going to be a good day.

I jumped in the car and started her up and headed off to work. My drive is mostly headed into the morning sun, so you see just how dirty the car window is. I notice d that I have a tenant that has been busy… Let’s call her Char. I swear this eight-legged hussy wrote a message to me in her little masterpiece. I believe she called me fat. I saw it right there… In plain English. The entire 26-minute drive I could not help but look at that web of lies the whole way. Every two minutes I was look and every three minutes I would fester even more. The shorts fit greatly. The hoody I was wearing fit nicely. Yeah, my legs could light up a dimly lit room, but we are coming off a Michigan winter. I swear the message in that web said something like “WILBUR” or “TYSON YOU ARE FAT”. Yeah, I know that last one was a little harsh, but tell me something… how much harsher are you on yourself than anyone else could ever be on you?

The path of originality is a unique path to follow. It is a path that is not too demanding. You do not have to stray too far away from it. There are no vicious side quests. What you learn on this journey, or what I am learning on this particular journey is that through all of the webbing of what I thought I was or through all the reflections of what I think I see, I am enough. I am just right. I am exactly as God intended on me to be. There’s a reflection or a way I wish we could all see ourselves. Through the eyes of our pets. Some say that is some of the most unconditional love on this earth you can ever experience. I believe it. 100%!! Maybe one of these AI companies will design a program for some of these glasses or the AR headsets that allows you to see yourself and one day feel about yourself the way your pets feel about you… Though, I wonder about some cats…. (I am a dog guy through and through… Sorry mom)

I titled this little diddy “The Path of Originality”. I hope no one out there confuses the word with “ordinary”. You gotta think in terms of OG. The OG… The Original. The one that broke the mold. When I was an adolescent I wanted to be like everyone else. Then I spent my formidable years trying to be like a few. Then came the time in my life when I began the search for a path. Man, that was a trying time. Albeit a fun time and a time of great pain and great learning, of course none of it came without great cost. Then came my late 30’s. I was in Gay limbo, but I seemed to have some direction. My sails still found the wild winds at times and those sure did come at costs as well. There has never been an ordinary moment in my life when I sit here and think about it. Of course there have been some ordinary things and possibly a few ordinary people, but there is nothing ordinary about my life and what my originality has and is teaching me today is to slow down and enjoy life. You’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted. An amazing family. A home. A companion in human form and in dog form. A professional life you absolutely love. No, I am not a billionaire. I am still jumping hurdles here and there. I still have all ten fingers and ten toes. This path of originality… it has been quite the adventure, it is quite the adventure and the adventure isn’t quite finished.